wicked witch

She’s back – I thought after all the hassle she gave us to “prune” the tree at the bottom of the garden, once done she would stop pestering but oh no how wrong could I be?
So the first time she called was to ask about taking the overhanging branches off, fine I said I’d get a quote as brother has connections in said business. The next day she’d tried calling us but to no avail (could be because we were out at work… you know something us mortals have to do to keep food on the table and the roof over our heads) so she wrote us a letter. The Wednesday, when I have a whole 30 minutes to myself to wash my hair in I thought I’d go see the tree from her side – spent 45 minutes there having my ear talked off, silly me really expecting just to pop in for 5 minutes, so I ended up running late (again).
I did manage to speak to Tree-man about issues a couple of days later (weekend getting in the way of calling earlier), and I was informed that she has every right to cut the tree back to the boundary. So that’s what I told her when she called, and happened to get it into the conversation at least 3 times but that was another half hour of my life wasted having my ear talked off. I told her the same thing the next time we spoke and when she called round at the front door – yes she managed to wheedle her way in to have a look at the tree from our side, although I shut the doors so she couldn’t snoop too much.
Well, I think understandably, I’m getting slightly annoyed with the nosy parker, but words of calm were spoken to me along the “try to be nice and don’t get wound up” and “you’ll have to live with her there” lines.
I’ve told everyone who’s asked about the tree that we’d look into having it replaced but next year – you know new house that needs attention comes first. Also I’d like the time to plan the garden plus the experts always recommend leaving a garden for a year before altering it (unless it’s just a concrete lump!).
She “pruned” the tree…. back to the trunk…the trunk definitely being on our side of the boundary line… she replaced the corner section of the fence, and moved my compost bin which I had situated and dug in (only about an inch to make sure it didn’t move)…. the retaining wall is missing (oh did I forget to say the back of our garden is higher than hers and someone’s put in a wall about 3 bricks high to hold it all in). Pissed – a bit but nothing that can’t be remedied given some time (hahahahaha hysterical me!?!) Time is something I have little of. Ok calm, calm, quick, quick calm….
So she knocked on the door week ago Saturday to say she was having the whole fence along the back replaced. Ok I say. It’s shared ownership boundary she said. Fine but like I said before we can’t afford it so it’s up to you. I had my ear talked off again, another hour wasted, at least I know now that her neighbour has taken a lot of stuff out of his garden (I know his name and his nickname and that his plans were to chop it next year). I repeat again that I’ve not had time to go look at the tree properly, nor the new bit of fence she had put up, I repeat again that we’re not planning much for the garden till next year, and we need to get the house in working order, and that we have to find out which fence is our as the neighbours either side say we need to repair them (they’re in a sorry state).
Can I strangle the woman screaming, “Have I not got enough to do without you waste my time? Can I not be left to get something sorted in reasonable time; does it have to be done tomorrow? Have you not got something better to do? I’m doing the frigin garden next year! Let me get the lighting and heating sorted out this year!”
Well the lady next door came and said she’d told the wicked witch I was probably out, she tried to save me but the witch had to ring the doorbell. I was also informed that the witch was very nosy and liked to be able to look into everyone’s gardens and houses (I joked about putting on some sort of over 18 floor show). Also I was told she’d been trying to have the tree removed for a long time – I know now it’s been for over 4 years. I’ve been living there just about 7 months, nearly owned it for a year but it was in no state to move into straight off.
Well I got a knock on the door yesterday, just as I was about to check on dinner, and guess what! Well not only was she there but she’d brought a friend (I’ve seen him doing bits in her garden and from the conversation I’d say he wasn’t living with her – having his own kitchen refitted and all). Well we had the “the tree’s roots have shifted the fence”, “I’m losing my garden because of the tree”, “the tree’s roots are damaging my patio and I’ll have to talk to a solicitor to see what the situation is…. You might have to pay for a new patio for me” oh and “the earth at the back is warping the fence…the earth is making the fence bow”. Mind you she didn’t know what the green “thing” in our garden was – it’s a compost bin the council provide free! Perhaps I should have pointed out that the retaining wall at the back is missing but I was a bit occupied looking at the photos they’ve taken and trying not to loose my temper. At least when I explained we’d missed the tree-man and how I get caught up in the appalling traffic (up to 2 hours to get home/to work on routes that usually take 20-30 minutes) the friend-fella she was with said to give us a couple of weeks to get things sorted – she was wanting us to do it now (today). I wonder how long she’ll wait before getting in touch again.